


Things we said today

by wampusthunder



Category: Superstore
Genre: Double Date, F/M, M/M, Secondary mateoxjeff, idk I'm not great at writing fics but there's a shortage of superstore fics, jonah and Mateo friendship, this is going to take a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-11-10 00:48:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wampusthunder/pseuds/wampusthunder
Summary: One year inside Cloud Nine, and its employees heads.





	1. July

JULY

Jonah was stacking up on toilet paper, so enthralled that he barely noticed when the familiar face of Adam Dubanowski approached him. When Adam called his name, he nearly jumped. Jonah hadn't talked to him after... you know, the tornado and stuff, and he didn't know if Adam knew about said stuff. He knew Amy was giving her marriage another shot, but how much of that involved complete honesty he had more idea. So, yeah, for a moment there he was unsure if Adam wasn't gonna hit him. But that was delusional, really. Even if he did know, that kiss had meant nothing to Amy. Adam would pity him, instead of being angry.  
"How have you been?"  
"Hum, bored. It can get quite monotonous in here...Nothing, nothing's happening to me right now. I have no emotions, about anything. At all."  
"Cool...Have you seen Amy?"  
"No, no, I have barely seen her all day. Not that I keep track of it, it's just, I barely see her any day. I'm just here...doing my job, stacking them toilet papers, you know?"  
He rested his shoulder on the toilet paper pile and knocked it down.  
"Well that was...unwise of me."  
"How's hum...Kristen, right?"  
"It's Erica. I man, it was Kristen, but that's over and I'm going out with Erica. She works at that movie theatre downtown that specializes on Eastern European films. She's great. I love her. I'm in love with her, she's the only one that I think about all...of the...way. Yeah, it's going great. I'm gonna ask her to marry me!"  
What the fuck are you saying?, his head was shouting, but he couldn't stop rambling. Did that mean he was gonna have to marry Erica? They'd only been going out for three weeks.  
"That's great, man. Marriage is work, though. It's really hard."  
"But you and Amy are good now, right? Not that I care."  
"Well, yeah. I guess. Hey, maybe Amy and I and you guys, you and Erica, should go one on a double date some time!"  
"Maybe! What a great idea! That's some good thinking, kid."  
Kid? What is wrong with him?  
Now Amy walked towards them, with a weirded out smile.  
"Hey, Adam. I told you not to come inside the store if you're not gonna buy anything."  
"Are you going to complain when I dropped all my stuff to come pick you up?"  
"What st...? You know, you are right. I appreciate it."  
"I was just telling Jonah what a great idea it would be if we went on a double date with him and his girlfriend."  
Amy gave Jonah a nervous side glance.  
"Yeah, that is...I can't think of any reason why not. We can talk about it."  
"Amy, it's a double date, not moving to another city. You never want to go out! Dr.Curtis said..."  
"Yeah, I know what he said. Let's do it. Double date..", Amy said.  
"This is...great. Spending time with you guys...and my girlfriend...eating...talking about...things we have in common like for example we all live here", Jonah stammered.  
"Should be great!", Amy said quickly, and after that she pulled Adam's arm and started walking away. "Bye, Jonah."  
"Yeah", he said. 

On the following morning, Amy was sulking on the break room couch when he arrived. They were alone in the room.  
He hesitated at first, but he felt they had to talk about the imminent disaster that was upon them.  
"Hey, so...About the double date thing..."  
"We're going to a terrible burger place that has no clients and therefore faster at serving food. No one will eat cause the food will be terrible, we will talk for half an hour about...living here or whatever and then we say goodbye."  
"Sounds like a good plan to me. But are you sure you don't want me to say Erica and I broke up so no one has to...?"  
"No, that'll be worse, he'll wait until you get another girlfriend. We need to have a horrible time so he never wants to do it again. You need to be even more annoying than usual."  
"Well, I'm afraid I can't help you there. I have a compulsive need for people to like me,"  
"Jonah, I swear to Go...the only person who needs to like you is your boss aka me."  
"Okay, I'll try my best. But, you know, maybe we could end up having fun on this thing. It doesn't have to be weird."  
"Not for you."  
Why was he staring at her? Do people normally look into other people's eyes when they talk? It's like he was trying to see through her...Well, there was nothing to see. Nothing whatsoever. Did her saying it would be awkward imply she had feelings for him? No, it's only awkward because they kissed that one time and Adam has no idea. Hold the stare, Amy.  
"Yeah. Sorry."  
"It's fine. Just...don't say anything too stupid."  
"Right back at you!"  
Amy gave him an angry look.  
"Okay, starting now...", he said. 

At 7, Jonah and Amy left work and went to the burger place together. Amy was in a huge rush and ready to order when she got a text from Adam: he couldn't make it. She let out a swear under her breath.  
"Adam's not coming. A buddy of his got tickets to monster trucks. Well, that's just wonderful. God, this is so typical of him. Making me set things up and then not showing. I wonder what Dr. Curtis will think of that!"  
"Are you...writing it down?"  
"Yes, I keep a list of complaints."  
"That's a weird kind of counseling."  
"Oh, thats not a part of counseling. Counseling is all about forgiving, and understanding that your partner has dreams, very very stupid dreams."  
"Okay, but consider this: people with dreams far more stupid have become successful in the past. Remember that week when they tried to make us sell raccoon milk?"  
"That was not successful."  
"Well, it provided us with a community of raccoons around the store and they killed the rats, so I count that as a victory."  
Amy sneered at him.  
"I can ask Erica for a rain check, since Adam's not coming."  
"At least we don't have to eat here."  
"Oh, great, have you been to the new...?"  
"Please don't say gourmet food truck"  
"It's really good, actually."  
They heard someone behind them.  
"Jonah?"  
"Oh, Erica. This is Erica. Erica, this is Amy."  
"Hi."  
"Hi, so I think I'm gonna take off. My husband had a last minute e thing and I don't want to be a third wheel, so"  
"Oh, no, stay. I was looking forward to meeting Jonah's people."  
"Well, I..."  
"Jonah, you want her to stay, right?"  
Jonah was caught off guard:"Hum? Sure, if she wants to. I don't care. I mean, she is my boss so I have to say yes"  
"What?"  
"He's kidding, Erica."  
"Ha. Okay, then, I guess."  
"Ok, so why don't we order?", said Jonah, which they did.  
"So, how did you guys meet?", asked Amy  
"Well, he was the only one in the audience for the screening of some really old movie..."  
"The Party isn't that old, it's golden age Peter Sellers!"  
"Is that the one where Peter Sellers is an idiot actor who accidentally destroys a movie set?", Amy asked, "That's actually a funny movie."  
"Yes! Yes, it is. Thank you! I've been trying to get her to see it since forever."  
"I thought you guys just met", Amy said.  
Some awkward silence.  
"How long have you two known each other?", Erica asked.  
"Hum, two years or so? I don't know."  
"Have you met any of his other girlfriends? I wanna know if I'm special enough to be introduced to the boss."  
"Hum, no. You're the first. Congratulations on the...specialness. You're super cute, btw. Su-per. You are the chosen one, yeah. You know, like in the movies. Of course you do. You work in them. Not in them, but, you know."  
"Erica actually wants to be an actress.", Jonah tried to muffle the mumbling.  
"Really? That's...lit"  
"Yeah, it's silly, just a dream."  
"Those are real bitches."  
"What?"  
"Dreams. They're real bitches."  
"What are yours?"  
Oh, graduating from college. Getting a better job. An intellectually gratifying job that also pays a decent amount of money to support her and Emma. But that's reaching, really hard.  
"Right now, a burger."  
"Funny! You said she was funny", Erica said.  
"You said I was funny? I mean, I guess I can be..."  
They food arrived. They each took some bites before resuming conversation.  
"You know", said Erica, "my sister works at a Cloud Nine down in Texas. We're not very close, though. She was always...you know, teen mom, married a loser...We followed different paths and she moved away."  
Jonah had a mortified look in his face, but Amy, surprisingly enough, wasn't offended. She was just really, really angry. Putting on a cynic smile, she simply answered:  
"Yeah, I know the story."  
Better to be a failed actress working at a pretentious cinema without even knowing the movies. Amy gave Jonah an unimpressed stare, daring enough for him to know his girlfriend sucked. His eyes were simply saying I'm sorry, which annoyed her.  
She had to leave, but her feet wouldn't move. The rest of the lunch was spent on small talk. Then they said goodbye to Erica, and there was silence. Then, Jonah, finally deciding on what to say, started:  
"Amy, I'm so sorry about those things she said, I just..."  
"Oh, my God, shut up! You don't need to justify yourself to me. You don't owe me an explanation, so stop acting like you didn't know she thought that way, because you probably think that too."  
"What? Amy..."  
"Oh, please! Teen mom, loser husband, dead end job! Of course you think that."  
"Amy, that's not what I think of you. You are brave, and you fight everyday, and you think people don't see that, but I do."  
She stopped pacing, she stopped altogether.  
"What's the point of fighting everyday if it doesn't change anything?"  
"Amy..."  
Amy was crying now, angry crying and then desperate crying.  
"I don't regret having Emma. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. But sometimes...this is a horrible thing to say...I wish I had her later. Much later. So I could've had a fighting chance. If she gets pregnant before college, I'm going to kill her, even if I have no high ground."

Jonah hugged her and held her as she cried, and as she recovered from the burst she slowly and awkwardly separated herself. They made their way back talking smack about the burger place.  
"Just...forget about today."


	2. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Adam's therapy session does not go great when they do a "truth time" exercise

She was alone in Dr. Curtis' sofa. Dr. Curtis was smiling at her sympathetically. Seriously? You're a marriage counselor- you're supposed to make me feel better, not smile at me like my marriage is over but you don't wanna say anything because then I'll stop paying you...Maybe that's what she should say.  
"So", said Dr. Curtis, "No Adam today, hum?"  
"No Adam."  
"Why not?"  
"We had a little...falling out."  
"A little?"

She had basically told him he was the worst thing that had ever happened to her- which wasn't quite true- and then he'd told her she was being a real bitch, in front of Emma. So Amy just left the house and went to a hotel. She needed to cool off. This had been on Tuesday. Also on Tuesday they had been through what she thought was the world's most fucked up therapy session. They were playing a game called "Truth time", in which they each had to answer difficult questions from the other. It went... Well:  
"Who wants to start?", asked Dr. Curtis. Amy didn't want to start- she didn't really have any questions for Adam- which, according to Dr. Curtis, meant she didn't want to hear his side on anything and had already made up her mind about what he needed. So she took the damn question ball and asked:

"Adam, why can't you help more around the house? I mean, you don't do anything..."  
BEEEEP, went Dr. Curtis, pressing a button. "Try again."  
"Ok...", Amy continued, "I just...I feel like I'm doing everything by myself, like I always do everything by myself."  
She then passed the ball to Adam. He seemed offended.  
"Well, I actually do plenty, Amy. You just don't see it because you're out working everyday, but..."  
"Oh, yes, it's so selfish of me that I'm out working everyday!", Amy complained.  
"Amy, do you have the ball right now? No. Let him talk."  
"I have a ton of projects cooking in my head. I'm an enterpreneur, honey, just cause I work from home doesn't mean I don't work."  
Amy just made faces given that, as she was not in possession of the ball, she was not allowed to answer.  
"Do you have anything to add, Amy?"  
"I just...I don't think it's fair that he gets to stay home everyday and I have to work my ass off. I get that he has dreams, but he can't afford to have dreams. Adam, you don't work. Work involves pay."  
"Well, that really hurts my feelings. You know, Amy, sometimes I feel like you don't value what I do."  
"What exactly is it that you do, Adam?"  
"Okay, okay", said Dr. Curtis, "Let's not lose our patience. Adam, it's your turn to ask Amy a question."  
Adam gave it a painful smile:  
"Do you...Have you ever believed in me?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"All this time...Were you just waiting for me to get a grown up job at a store? Did you just think I would fail?"  
"Adam...", Amy started, "It's not like that. It's not that I don't believe in you, it's just that sometimes you need to put your dreams on hold. And, I mean, you never go through with any of your ideas. Ever. Remember that time you wanted to move to Hollywood to be an actor? Aren't you glad I said no? I just feel like a job would keep you focused...Then maybe you could develop those other things."  
"Oh, but you can take all the college classes in world!"  
"Okay, I didn't quit my job to..."  
"Guys, guys", interrupted Dr.Curtis, "I'm not here to tell you who's right and who's wrong- I'm here to help you understand each other. I'm not a judge with a verdict. I want you to listen to each other. Amy, Adam has dreams, just like you. You are taking a university course. I'm sure that if he found a job somewhere, he would take it. It's not like he's lazy."  
"Thank you!", said Adam, "You know, last year I actually did get a job at her store, but it turned out she didn't want me there!"  
"Is that true?", asked Dr. Curtis  
"I mean, working with your husband is not the ideal set-up..."  
"Right, is that because you already got a work husband?", Adam said like he was telling on her to the principal. Dr. Curtis was intrigued.  
"Work husband?"  
"Yeah, she's friends with this guy...At first I thought he was gay so I didn't care, but he's not. Anyway..."  
"You're talking about Jonah? You like Jonah."  
Adam pointed a finger at her: "See? She knows who I'm talking about!"  
"No, but you..."  
"Amy, let him continue, you'll get your turn."  
"Anyway, yes, I do like Jonah. He's a good guy, but he's... I don't know, awkward. I think he has a crush on you."  
"God, why are we talking about this? I think our marriage has bigger problems than Jonah..."  
"Why are you reluctant to talk about it, Amy?", Dr. Curtis said.  
"Because...it's stupid. He has a girlfriend."  
"Yeah, but is he not your work husband?"  
"I guess that if I had to call someone my work husband..."  
"Ha!", Adam went.  
"Okay, Adam, would you say it bothers you, this relationship that Amy has with...Jonah, is it?"  
"I guess sometimes I feel like she spends more time with him than with me."  
"I work with him."  
"Yeah, but... I don't know, it's like you prefer talking to him. You're always...with him."  
"Yeah, I work with him."  
"I think what Adam's trying to say here is that he misses talking to you. Just talking."  
Amy felt embarrassed. Adam was just trying to open up.  
"I miss talking to you too", she said, "All that we talk about now is money, and then we fight, and... I just...can't remember what we talked about before..."  
She and Adam shared a frightened look- for the first time in years it seemed they were thinking the same thing.  
"We talked about the future, and what we wanted to be... And you did my Math homework and tried to explain it to me, but I just looked at you while you explained, because you were so pretty and you got happy about Math."  
They smiled bittersweet smiles. She didn't want to hate Adam. She didn't hate him, she just didn't love him like that anymore. She knew then she needed to come clean and that, no matter what happened, she'd be okay. The world wouldn't end if she got divorced, her life wouldn't have been a lie- it just... changed. Things change and maybe they're supposed to. But no matter what happened, she needed to trust Adam, and him to trust her.  
"Adam, on the day of the tornado... When it hit the store...I kissed Jonah."  
He was still smiling, like he forgot to close it:  
"What?"  
"I was nervous and...he was there...I thought I was gonna die..."  
"So? Your first impulse when you think you're gonna die is I need to cheat on my husband?"  
"No, it wasn't like that, it didn't... I wasn't thinking of you as..."  
"Well, isn't that nice?!"  
"Okay, I'm telling you this because it is the truth and this is...Truth Therapy or whatever, and I want to be honest with you."  
"Okay. Be honest, then- why did you kiss him?"  
"I don't know!"  
Dr. Curtis was silent, but she passed the ball to Amy.  
"I think", Amy went, "I thought I was gonna die and..."  
"You said that already."  
"Let her talk, Adam."  
"I just wanted to see what it was like."  
For a moment no one said anything. Amy was painfully aware of her surroundings. She was staring at the ground. Dr. Curtis took the ball off her hands. More silence. She could hear Adam's thought going shit, shit, shit. Maybe those were her own thoughts.  
Adam had the ball now:  
"Do you want to be with him?"  
"No, he has a girlfriend", she said, "And I... have you, and Emma", she was quick to add.  
"Then what do you want?"  
"I want...I want peace and quiet. And maybe a spa day. I want to go to a hotel and just never leave."

So that was Tuesday for yah. 

On Thursday, as you recall, Adam did not show up. 

"Let me ask you something, Amy", said Dr. Curtis, "Why do you still want to be married?"  
"I don't", she said. "I just...want to want to? If Adam moved out he wouldn't have anywhere to stay...It would be a bad environment for Emma, too. She would be crushed. And how would he pay his bills? I'd have to pay his bills but then we'd fight because I shouldn't have to but if Emma found out he couldn't pay his bills..."  
"Okay, okay, you're being far too methodical, sweetheart."  
"I have to be."


	3. September (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah has to make a decision regarding something he cannot be impartial about

He was back with Kristen and he was happy. After the incident at the burger place Jonah felt like he and Erica had different views of life and she was sort of a rude asshole. He remembers very little of the night that followed it, apart from going to have drinks with Mateo (something that surprisingly had been happening a lot since the tornado) and waking up at Kristen’s apartment.  
As the all knowing entity that an author is, I might as well tell you what actually happened, given that it's unlikely any of the parties involved have much recollection of that night. 

“So I called him, the day we all thought we were dying. I told him that I loved him.”, Mateo was saying.  
“Jeff?”  
“Of course Jeff, God why are my friends…you?”, he sipped from his mojito “Anyway, he didn't pick up so I left him a message. It's been two months, he hasn't even made eye contact with me. Last week he told Sandra she'd done a good job dressing up the mannequins, when I was the one who put her in charge of it, Jonah! I did it. Ugh, Sandra.”  
“Are you…jealous of Sandra, Mateo?”  
“What? No! I just don't know if Jeff got my message. I mean, he's a complete idiot with his phone. He only listens to his messages once he runs out of space. It's actually pretty adorable to watch him realize once again that he has like a hundred voicemails. But what if he did get my message and…still hates me?”  
“Cammon, Mateo, Jeff doesn't hate you.”  
“What if he's back with Chad? Oh my god, what if Chad heard my message and erased it?”  
“Okay, okay, calm down. Let's get you another drink, you're too stressed. We both are.”  
“Yeah right like the stress of breaking up with your one month basic bitch girlfriend is comparable to my humiliation of having my ex-boyfriends new boyfriend listening to my last words and mocking them.”  
“It's not a competition.”  
“Yeah, cause if it were, you'd lose. Badly.”

HALF A DOZEN DRINKS LATER

“You know what, Mateo? Jeff doesn't deserve you, And Chad doesn't deserve Jeff. You, my friend, need a boyfriend like Steve Carrel.”  
“What?”  
“Steve Carrel, hilarious guy! He's old like Jeff, but he isn't bald AND he came back to The Office for the finale, and that shows humbleness. Plus he's been with his wife since forever.”  
“Steve Carell is straight, Jonah.”  
“You need a gay Steve Carell.”  
“Jeff was my gay Steve Carell!”  
“… Well…”  
“I need to talk to him! Don't let me drunkdial him! I'm drunkdialing him! If you let me do this I'll kill you!”  
“I'm so…confused.”  
“God, I can't believe I'm saying this but enough about me. I need a distraction. What are you sad about? Basic bitch tell you she didn't like the way you pronounce fondue?”  
“No, this isn't about her. It's about…”  
“Oh. Shocker.”  
“I think I'm in love with her. And I can't…do anything about it but it's eating me inside and I feel like shit all the time…”  
“God, you're so boring! Okay, Jonah crying time is over, I'm calling Jeff!”  
“No, Mateo, you said that I should stop you…!”  
But Mateo was already dialing.  
“Let me call Jeff or I'll die!”  
“Mateo…”  
“Oops, it seems like I used your phone to call Kristen, so you'll be too busy to stop me!”, he said with a childlike expression. He gave the cellphone back to Jonah. It was calling.  
“Kristen? What…Hello, Kristen!”

So that's how they got together again, and how Mateo left another message on Jeff’s phone, telling Chad to go mind his own business. 

…Which brings up back to September. Because, had it not been for the events of that night, Jonah wouldn't have been waiting for Kristen at a little underground cafe uptown- seriously, not even the hipsters had discovered it yet- and if he hadn't been there, he wouldn't have seen one couple making out in the shadows. He wouldn't have noticed Adam Dubanowski’s face when he got up to get his date some coffee. But Amy…Amy was at the store until very late today (he knew because he was trying to make their shifts as separate as they could be without her noticing). Of course, that wasn't Amy, her hair was lighter and her eyes were grey. Oh shit. 

He had two options.  
A was to tell Amy, running the risk of her thinking he was biased (hypothetical Amy did have a point… Was that really Adam or had he wanted it to be Adam?) or that he was lying (was he? Was he lying to himself, just so he could maybe be with Amy? But if he was considering this possibility, was he really lying to himself, or was he a hypocritical bastard?). Things to be considered, anyhow. 

Option B was not to tell her, running the risk of being a bad friend. But he couldn't tell her just because that would set his conscious at ease; he needed to think of what was best for Amy. But who was he to decide this? And yet, if he decided on doing nothing, it would be a decision nonetheless. Not acting upon valuable information is as much of a choice as acting on it. There was no perfect solution. He needed to treat this situation as if Amy was like any other friend- which she totally totally was, by the way. Nothing to read into here. Haha. 

So Jonah decided to do some research. 

“Hey, Cheyenne. Need a little help with these bottles?”, he asked. She was trying to balance out several of them.  
“No, I'm good, thanks.”  
“Can I ask you something? If someone saw Bo cheating, would you like to know?”  
Cheyenne dropped the bottles.  
“You saw Bo cheating on me?”  
“No! No, absolutely not! It's just a hypothetical!”  
“Then why would you say that?!”  
“Because…I just…Forget it,” 

This conversation having proven itself unsuccessful, Jonah went to Dinah in the control room to ask her the same question, now about Garrett.  
“Oh, he couldn't be cheating, we’re not exclusive.”  
“But neither of you has slept with anybody else.”  
“But that doesn't mean we couldn't.”  
“Okay, but hypothetically, if you were exclusive…?”  
“That depends. Why did we become exclusive. Who asked first? Who did he cheat on me with? Why?”  
“I don't know, I don't have all the information.”  
“Never mind, I'd find out. Lots of security cameras here…Nothing escapes me…”  
As she was saying that, we see through the security camera that is behind her a child sneaking various items products into a distracted woman's purse. 

Still pretty much clueless, but feeling, in his gut, that he could not sit on what he'd seen, he decided he'd talk with Amy. Her shift started at two, just as his reached an end. At 1:30, he saw her sitting alone on the break room couch. Jonah was always glad to see her. He was glad to look at her and ask her how her day was. Well, he was about to ruin her day now, so…  
“Hey”, she said, “Haven't seen you in a while.”  
“Yeah, our shifts are weird this month.”  
She simply nodded, and continued to search her purse for- he presumed- her locker’s keys.  
“Listen, Amy, do you have a minute?”  
“Yeah, what is it?”  
“Okay, it’s…”  
Jonah was really nervous and trying not to stammer. His face was probably contorting right now. He needed to start talking.  
“Okay.”, he decided to go straight to it. “I saw Adam making out with some…woman yesterday at a cafe uptown.”  
Jonah watched her face for…anything, really. He was prepared to punch Adam in the face if she wanted him to. He was prepared to take her anywhere to calm her down. But she was already calm. So he just kept talking.  
“Look, it doesn't mean he's cheating cheating on you. They were just kissing. Like that time we kissed!”  
She raised an eyebrow.  
“Not…not exactly like that, but, you know, still… I'm sure that lots of people…couples…go through rough patches…you just…Do what you want with this…”  
“Jonah, stop talking.”  
She still looked unfazed.  
“Thank you for telling me this.”  
Amy suddenly got up, and left the break room- calmly. Her shift was about to start.


	4. September (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy's reaction to the news, we get a glimpse of her motivations. She also gets really drunk and the booze takes her...well, you probably guessed it.

September (part two)

Amy didn't want to confront Adam. She didn't want to throw a fit over this. She didn't want to fight. The upper hand was now hers and she had no idea how to use it. It's bizarre that she was thinking of her marriage in terms of leverage.   
When she was twelve her aunt and uncle split up. In all their anger they made their kids hear to all the horrible things they had to say about one another. To have them both at a family function was to risk broken plates. Her cousins got fairly screwed up over it. They'd stay over at her house a lot, whenever one of their parents decided to act like a kid again. Inside them something shifted, it turned grave and solemn. Emma can't turn grave and solemn. It's too early for that. 

The whole shift went by like a smooth water divisor; suddenly she couldn't remember a time before it. But it ended so quickly, Amy had been on autopilot. Replace produce, report storage…She stared at a plum for an alarmingly long time. Her mind was completely stuck. It took Garrett’s clapping to wake her from this numbness.   
“Hey Amy, whatcha thinking about, looking like you stumble into some Iluminati shit?”  
“What? No, I'm just…It's just one of those days when time feels weird.”  
“Maybe you took some Ambien by accident. Tate carries his in a tic tac box.”  
“No, I know better than to accept anything from Tate.”  
“Yeah, poor Glenn. It was pretty funny, though. He's sleeping on his office. Dina tried to slap him back but he's a goner.”  
“Maybe she was just trying to slap him.”  
“She's a violent lady!”, Garrett said smiling and rolling away.   
“Sounds like you want some of that slapping too, hum?”, Amy said, but there was no one close by to high five her on her juvenile joke.   
“Do you feel better, now that you made this comment? Is this being the change you want to see in the world?”  
“Not really, but you still like Dina.”, she muttered. Maybe she was regressing into her nine year old self. Simpler times. 

Amy walked around without really knowing what to do with herself, until she found herself at Glenn's office. Dina was inspecting his drawers while he drooled incessantly in his deep sleep. Dina was talking to herself while she eavesdropped: “How many Bibles can one guy own? Ugh, a Catholic Bible? What is this? No way he carries all this juice with him everyday into the store…”  
“Hey, Dina? Do you need my help with anything?”  
“Your shift is over”  
“I know, but…Since Glenn's out I thought maybe you'd need backup.”  
“Do you even hear yourself? Glenn's out, so that means smooth sailing from here. Ha! Backup. Grab a chair and a beer, pal, we don't have to fix any mess today. It's cute that you think you could, though. You wouldn't be my first choice for backup…maybe on my top five…Brett would be number one, of course…Go home, Rodriguez, go be with Emma.”  
“You know my daughter’s name?”  
“Emma's your daughter? I thought she was your cat or something.”  
“What? How would you?”  
“I mean, the way you talk about her…pretty ambivalent. That's such a cat name, Emma, why did you give her such a cat name? People are bound to think of her as a cat. I could've sworn your daughter’s name was Evelyn.”  
“You thought I had named my daughter Evelyn. And when I said to you maybe something like I took Emma to the movies, or I talked to her about…?”  
“I do all of these with my birds. I mean, personally, I think it's a little crazy to treat cats like they're humans, or birds. But hey, this is good, now I won't think you're so weird anymore.”  
“…Okay…? If you don't mind, then, I'm leaving.”  
Ugh, Dina… Amy might as well take an Ambien too, and wake up to a nicer life. She sat on a chair outside the store, and she just stayed there. She didn't want to go home. She asked her mom to have Emma for the night-Amy was in bad shape, she'd been in bad shape for a while now, and she didn't want for her daughter to worry about her. She just needed to be away from everything, that's all. Only if for a second. So she sat there, with a bottle of cheap wine in her hands, and the comfort of the open wide night around her. 

It started around her third? Seventh? Gulp. Or shot. She felt the fuzzy happiness of lightheadedness sponsored by cloud nine alcohol. She got up, and she called a cab. 

Jonah lived not far away from the store. 

“Hey”, she said when he answered the door.   
“Hey, Amy.”, he looked worried. “Hum, come in.”  
“So, whatcha up to?”  
“Amy?”  
“Yah”  
“Are you drunk?”  
“Shhhhh. I'm not supposed to be.”  
“There's no one else here, Ame”, said Jonah, smiling.   
“Right. Sorry.”  
“Do you want anything…? Non alcoholic?”  
“No, I'm good. I'm…great. So fucking great.”  
“Okay”, he sat down on the couch next to her. This was obviously a talking out that Amy needed, and he was more than happy to be her shoulder to cry on. She wasn't crying though.   
She kissed him.   
Jonah was caught so off guard that for a second time stopped. Suddenly all of those feelings he'd been trying so hard to repress hit him so hard it felt like a wonderful, bursting punch in the stomach. He'd never felt so…He'd never felt so much. It was like everything was, for once, exactly where it was supposed to be.   
But he had to pull her away.   
“Amy…”  
She didn't say anything. She looked at him half scared, half surprised at herself, just like she had when the tornado hit.   
“I can't…You're really drunk. We can't…You're confused because of what I told you about Adam, and you wanna get back at him, but… I can't take advantage of that.”  
She was quiet for a long time- or it just felt like a long time. Then, she said:

“You don't understand, Jonah. I… When you told me that Adam was cheating on me, you know what I felt?! It wasn't sadness, it wasn't anger, it just… I felt relief. Because now, he is the bad one. Now, I have a reason to divorce him other than, I don't know, I don't love him anymore. Yeah, but why don't I? Now I can just say that he cheated on me. I'm a horrible, horrible person. Maybe I've just…been waiting for this to happen, and now that it has I can… I can leave…But I can't…Why can't I go home and get this over with?”  
“It's not that easy to leave a marriage! You aren't a horrible person, you're just…overwhelmed. You don't have to do this today, Amy. Come on, you can stay here. sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch.”  
“No, I can't…”  
“You can stay on the couch if you want, but I'd advise against it.”  
Amy was too exhausted to refuse, and soon she was passed out on the couch. 

She woke up with a blasting headache and no recollection whatsoever of the night before. Kristen was at the kitchen making her a hangover smoothie. They made small talk and then Amy left. She had a feeling she was better off without those memories about last night.


	5. October (part one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy and Adam have an honest conversation.

October

“Amy, there is something I need to tell you”, Adam said. 

Oh, shit. He was going to confess to cheating before she had a chance to confront him about it. She had wanted to say something before, but she kept putting it off… Truth is, she did not want to revisit the subject of divorce until she had a solid plan- where would Adam live? What would they do about the holidays? Wouldn't it be best to wait for the school year to be over? Or it would be important for Emma to have a structured school life as her home life fell apart? But wouldn't that mean bad grades? She hadn't figured it out yet, and now Adam came into the room looking like a ghost ready to do the right thing for once in his life. 

“I had an affair.”

Amy's expression was as blank as when she'd first heard of it. She waited for him to resume talking. 

“It's over now. I feel terrible about it, at the beginning I think I was just trying to get even with you for kissing Jonah but… I was wrong.”

“Get even? Can you even listen to yourself, Adam? God.”

“I'm really sorry. I just…we haven't… Why can't things between us be how they used to? 

“We’re grow ups now, Adam.”, she answered, feeling like she was stating the obvious to him, even if she understood where he was coming from. Amy, too, wanted to push a reset button on their marriage. 

“You're not even mad at me. Do you even love me at all?”

“Well…Do you?”

“Yes! You are my family, Amy! You and I, we are family!”

He was clearly distraught now, talking with his hands, getting up his chair. Amy got up as well, albeit less violently- she was moved by this accusatory burst:

“We are family, Adam. We’ll always be family. I just don't know that we should…be…married anymore. We've tried and tried and it's damaging. It's damaging to us, and for Emma to live in this environment, and I think, I honestly think this is the only way we'd stop fighting.”

Adam made an outraged expression, which soon turned into one of resignation. They knew that was that. So Adam and Amy sat beside each other on their old couch they'd gotten when they'd first moved to the house and contemplated the damp crossroads in front of them, which did not look as threatening as it had five minutes ago. Now that a decision had been made, they knew which road to take, even if they weren't going the same way. 

And that was that. Mr. and Mrs. Dubanowski’s marriage. Time of death, October 20th, 6:18 pm, just before their only child Emma Dubanowski arrives for dinner with her friend Amanda, thus postponing the delivery of the news for an excruciating three hours before Amanda goes home. 

 

 

“Sweetie, we need to talk.”, Amy said. She looked to Adam for support, but he was strangely enthralled by the coffeemaker over the kitchen counter, and was unresponsive. Typical- still, the frustration that arose from this gave Amy the kick she needed:   
“Dad and I are getting divorced. I want you to know that we both love you more than anything in the world, and that we will always be a family. It's just that, in order to be that family, we need to stop fighting, and, for us to stop fighting, we need to get divorced.”

Amy looked for any hints of emotional turmoil or whatever preceded it on her daughter’s face, but her face was calm, serene, almost. How come children are so mature about stuff like that, but cry rivers and rivers when you tell them they can't go to Michigan with their friend Joe? 

“So…Is that it?”

“Yes. We’ll share custody, and make sure your life is affected as little as possible by our adult mess.”

“Okay. May I go now?”

Amy was extremely disconcerted by that reaction. 

“Um…Yes, you may.”

Had it not dawned on her yet, that this whole thing meant that their parents no longer loved each other, perhaps never did love each other? Had it not occurred to her that she had been the reason they had married in the first place? How could Amy comfort her about this, tell her that her parents were on good terms and that she was the best thing that ever happened to them without introducing the possibility that this might as well be a lie? But, if she really was already thinking this, wouldn't she need someone to tell her it's false? How do you know what's on your kid’s mind if you've never experienced it yourself? Amy normally knew exactly what Emma was thinking, for she remembered being a kid. Her parents, however, had led a happy marriage, and the only example she had was that of their cousins who made no secret of their pain. Was she in pain, bravely powering through it so she no longer got in the way of her parents’ happiness? But it was so much more complicated than that- yes, that last year had been hell, but, even if Adam hadn't made her terribly happy, he hadn't actively worked toward making her unhappy, and they'd been fairly content until… Well, truth is Amy and Adam had achieved twelve years of marriage, which really was something. Now it was time to move on. You know, as one would move on from a successful career on sport or dance once they reached a certain age and could no longer put up with the rigorous workout routines. She no longer had to exercise patience and constraint, she no longer needed to check her words and speak with caution. She could do what she actually wanted to do now. 

Still, nothing was much changed in the following days. She and Adam had for long been sleeping on separate beds, and she thought it best not to urge him to find a house of his own, at least not yet. She didn't tell anyone at the store. She didn't want the attention, unwarranted hugs and “you're gonna be okay” genre speeches. Amy thought that, the moment it came out, reality would actually hit her out loud, and she'd actually have to figure out what she actually wanted to do. Once that road opened up, there was no telling where it would go, and that was scary. 

But then, of course, came Halloween, and with it all scary things too abstract for costumes like, ahem, feelings.


	6. October (part two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone attends Cheyenne and Bo's Halloween party.

Never would she have predicted that she would ever feel so emotionally exhausted that she'd starting looking upon Halloween as a day to get through. Emma had wanted to dress up as Wonder Woman, which meant she had to get an Amazon costume. Still, Amy felt powerless and beat and not worthy of that costume she was wearing. As soon as she got to the store, Cheyenne, dressed as a ladybug, told her she and Bo were having a party after work at their new house. Amy wanted to decline the invite, but Chey was faster:  
"Emma's going to be with her friends, isn't she?"  
"Well, I guess..."  
"Okay, so you're coming! Also, can you take Harmonica trick or treating? I know you love it and also Bo's been fighting with the neighbours, so they won't give us candy if they see us."  
"Did I hear something about a Halloween party?", it was Dina's voice.   
"Yeah.", said Cheyenne. There was a moment of silence: "Wanna come?"  
"Sure! By the way, I'm going as the horse from War Horse. I just had to take the headpiece off because of one terrified customer who thought I was a furry."  
"That explains the hooves!", said Amy. Maybe that party wouldn't be so bad after all.   
*  
Mateo walked up to Garrett's counter, where he and Jonah were, screaming:  
"Someone give me their nametag!"  
He took Jonah's nametag from him and threw his own at Jonah as he ran away.   
"Alright, weird French waiter Mateo.", said Garrett "I guess we'll get to the story behind that messed-up interraction eventually."  
"Salvador Dalí, Garrett. God, I worked so hard on the fake moustache and I bought this wristwatch just so I could kinda melt it...This I did specifically so my costume would be clearer."  
"It is clear, it's just hella pretentious."  
"If culture is pretentious, then..."  
"Yeah, it is."  
Garrett was wearing a confusing costume- his body was wrapped in bandages like a mummy, but his head was inside a horse's headpiece.   
"Obviously, I'm BoJack Horseman, after the second apocalypse. The second apocalypse is the Mummy apocalypse, after all the zombies all have killed each other."  
"Isn't that Dina's costume?"  
"No. What happened was, I got myself the horse's head, which was all I needed for my super original concept, and then she bought the bottom."  
But Jonah had found a way to mock him:  
"So...You and Dina...You are wearing matching costumes now?"  
"It's not matching! I just stole part of hers."  
"So you're wearing the same costume."  
"Dude, shut up, you're making it like..."  
"In a way...You complete each other..."  
"Shut up. I'm a horse mummy, if anything I beheaded Dina and kept her head with me, cause I'm self-conscious about my looks!"  
"I'm serious, though, coordinating costumes, that's a big step in a relationship..."  
While they were doing this, Amy arrived with some of Garrett's announcements for the day:  
"Hey, are we mocking Garrett for wearing Dina's horse head?"  
"No!", protested Garrett, "We're mocking Jonah's pretentious costume."  
"It's not pretentious to dress up as a known figure...!"  
"Okay, both of you look ridiculous- however- Jonah's owning up to his costume, unlike you, Garrett, who should just stay right beside Dina for the rest of the day, so people know you're a couple."  
"That's what I've been saying!"  
“Again, I’m just a horse mummy…”  
“That’s not a thing.”, said Amy.   
“I don’t know. As a surrealist, I am inclined to believe not only in the horse mummy’s existence, but also that everything else is an illusion. I see only absurdities in the world.”  
“You know what else was an illusion? You thinking this costume was a great idea.”, Amy said, and then, turning to Garrett: "What are you gonna do for your anniversary, Garrett? Yeah, that's right, it's been that long. Maybe it's time you go from that 'other' box to 'romantic'."  
“You’ve been with Dina for a year?”, Jonah was so excited his face lightened up. “You actually like each other!”  
Thankfully, for Garrett, the conversation was interrupted by Mateo who came back with Jonah’s nametag.   
“Thanks for that.”  
“Yeah, sure- why did you grab my nametag again?”  
“Chad’s here.”  
“Chad you mean…Jeff’s ex-boyfriend?”  
“No, Chad the basketball player from High School Musical! Of course, Chad, Jeff’s ex!”  
“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten that guy’s name was Chad.”, said Garrett.  
“Did you know that the guy who plays him, Corbin Bleu, is the person with most Wikipedia pages in the world?”, Jonah said.   
“Why?!”  
“No one knows!”  
“Oh my god, can we stop talking about fucking Corbin Bleu and talk about me? You bunch of self-centred bastards!”, yelled Mateo.   
“Sorry, go on.”  
“So, I’d seen him in pictures before, and he was coming towards me to look for help and then I flipped and said I’d be back in a minute- I was covering my nametag, crossing my arms…He wanted this special razorblade that was like, right in front of him, but I ran and said that was only the box, that I had to go the real thing on the back… If he saw my nametag I’d have had to kill him or something.”  
“Oh my god”, Amy said, looking at her phone, “He really does have a lot of Wikipedia pages. There are some languages here that I didn’t even know existed!”  
“I know!”, said Jonah.   
“Oh my God, I’m living the drama of my life here, people!”  
“Sorry, sorry.”  
“So, was he nice? They really did get back together?”  
“Why else would he be here, Jonah?! Oh, he was a venomous snake. By the time I came back, he’d found someone else to assist him- talk about loyalty with this one- no wait, you can’t, because by the time you started talking he’ll be talking to someone else. Myrtle! Anyway, I was trying to listen in to their conversation, but all they talked about was cats. Of course he’s a cat person. Jeff’s a dog person. It’ll never work.”  
“I don’t know.”, said Jonah, “Kristen is a cat person and I don’t mind.”  
“Yeah, your relationship is doomed.”  
“But it’s not like you like dogs either. You’re just a… soulless person.”, Amy said.   
“Okay, I’m not big on dogs, but when given the choice between a cat and a dog, I’ll pick the dog.”  
“Oh, you’ll pick the dog? Seriously? The dog can do better than you.”, said Mateo.   
“You don’t pick a dog”, Garrett said, “The dog picks you. It’s like with Harry Potter and the wands thing.”  
“You shall be so lucky for a dog to pick you”, said Amy.   
“Okay, okay, I got it. Dogs are people too.”  
“Better, Jonah. Better than people.”, Amy said with a deadpan face. “Maybe I’ll get a dog.”, she pondered, wondering away.   
“Okay, so that was weird.”, Garrett noted.   
“You think she went to get a dog?”, asked Mateo.   
“Where?”, said Jonah.   
*  
Bo, dressed as he normally did but for a heavier do, welcomed his guests by the door, at times stopping to serenade them his terrible free-styles:  
“Yo, Glenn! My son, you’re dressed like a mini-on? Seriously? That’s such a lame costume, it reflects capitalism and the real bad franchises Hollywood’s been putting out lately. No respect for the public! Respect the public, we pay your bills! Boom! Wait… Just one second…You’ll get to pass…Just…BOOM! Oh, sorry, you dropped that? Need some help?”  
In Harmonica’s bedroom, Amy and Cheyenne are dressing up little Harmonica like a pumpkin, when Mateo storms in:  
“What the fu…udge, Chey? You invited Jeff to your party? Why would you stab me on the back like this?!”  
“I’m sorry, Mateo! I didn’t know what to do, he came and ambushed me…”  
“He wanted to come to the party?”  
“No, but I had to invite him… He came up to me before he told me to clean aisle twelve he asked how my kid was…So I just had to say something nice to him.”  
“You don’t even know him.”  
“Of course I do! He was at my wedding!”  
“You didn’t invite him!”  
“Well, so he’d show up here anyway today, it’s just who he is!”  
They heard some steps down the hall, and in a minute Bo was in the room, talking really fast:  
“Them fucking neighbouring kids threw goddamn eggs on the door! I swear I’ll fucking kill them, fucking assholes. Hey, sweetie. You are such a pretty pumpkin! Anyways you don’t throw fucking eggs at my door! Especially if I did give you candy! Not in my house! I mean, not in Mr. Isaac Crabley’s house, which I am renting! Fuckers!”  
Having said that, he slammed the door on the way out. There was a sudden silence.   
“So, I’m Josh Brolin.”, said Mateo. No one knew who that was, which made him angry.   
*  
Kristen was dressed like a cat. Or, at least, that’s what Amy thought, because it was sort of impossible to see her face while she was making out with Jonah on the corner. Don’t stare, Amy. That’s rude. Also, kind of gross. There were children in here- well, okay, one child, who she was supposed to be taking out trick or treating. Still, she had to wait for Bo to let them pass through the door, which seemed like a really difficult task for him to execute.   
“Okay, Harmonica, let’s go. Are you excited to have some candy?”  
“Wait for me!”, she heard Dina’s voice say. “Bo asked me to go with you so you’re safe. No offense, but you got nothing on those neighbourhood punks. I have a gun.”  
“What? Dina, no.”  
“Not asking, just telling.”  
“Oh, god.”  
So they went by the houses asking them for candy, and every time they got some Dina carefully inspected everything right in their faces, so they became offended and slammed the door, which caused Harmonica to cry. Dina wanted to throw out all the good candy and leave only apples and raisins, but Amy said she’d carry the trash and throw it out. She was planning on eating it later.   
“Hey, can I ask you something, Rodriguez?”  
“Again, not Rodriguez.”  
“Whatever. What’s up with Garrett today? He’s been avoiding me, which I would’ve been fine with, but he has the top part of my costume.”  
“Well, Dina, I think…Maybe earlier we were giving Garrett a hard time about, you know, your relationship.”  
“It’s not a relationship.”  
“Cammon, Dina.”  
“I mean, I guess we’ve been doing this for a year, and we’ve both stayed over because one time it was raining too hard, and then I had to take my pickup to the mechanic so I stayed at Garrett’s because it’s closer to work, and then… Oh my god, we are in a relationship! I haven’t slept with anyone else since January.”  
“Well, maybe he noticed that, too, and it freaked him out. Just like you are freaking out right now. You should go talk to him.”  
“You’re right. I should end this before anyone gets hurt.”  
“No, Dina, no… You should have the ‘define the relationship’ talk, again.”  
“So you’re saying be together?”  
“Yes, why not?”  
“I thought you hated relationships.”  
“I don’t… hate relationships.”  
“No, I’m pretty sure you do. You know, cause of your bad marriage.”  
“Okay, just because I had a bad marriage doesn’t mean all relationships are bad…”  
“Wait, had? What happened? Are you finally getting a divorce? Which week is this one? Nope, doesn’t matter- when did you decide to do it? You don’t have to say the day, just nod. This week? Last week? The week before?! Oh, damn you Brett, you son of a bitch!”  
“You guys had a bet on how long it would take for me to get divorced?”  
“Hey, some of us had it two years from now, so it’s not that disrespectful when you think about it.”  
“No, it’s despicable, but I’m too exhausted to care. Who else was in the bet?”  
“Oh, everyone.”  
“Great. You can go on trick or treating, right? I don’t feel great.”  
“Yeah, go sit on a bench and cry, I’ll take care of the kid. You brave, brave Amy- could you maybe hold on, on telling everybody else until say…the week of December fourteenth? What? Couples are always the most fragile during the holidays! I was onto something there!”  
*  
Amy was in a hidden spot between the house and the backyard, eating Harmonica’s confiscated candy- like taking candy from a child…Well, she was doing Harmonica a favour, she’d have great teeth. Baby teeth, which doesn’t really matter in the long run, but still… Dina would’ve thrown all the candy out. She was doing the candy a favour.   
So enthralled she was in selecting the chocolate she wanted to eat next, she barely noticed Jonah’s presence in the backyard until he wanted seating himself next to her. Apparently, he’d come out for some air and seen her there. So, of course he had to go and talk about stuff.   
“Are you eating Harmonica’s candy?”  
“Dina was gonna throw it out.”  
“Fair enough.”  
She offered him the bag. He took out a lollipop.   
“Expiration date 2008. Should be interesting.”   
“So, did you hear everyone made bets on how long it would take for me to get a divorce.”  
Jonah had heard about it- it happened a little after Cheyenne’s wedding, a little after the tornado hit. Naturally, he’d refused to place any bets, and displayed his indignation. He was about to tell her just how he’d displayed it when she started talking again:  
“Apparently, Brett won.”  
What could he do to comfort her? That she wouldn’t read as…you know? Jonah was busy trying to find the best way to communicate to her that she would be fine when she got up abruptly:  
“So, I’m going home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”  
“By the way, Salvador Dalí is still better than Brexit. One step at a time, you might have a better costume next year.”  
“If time hasn’t melted by then.”, he said, pointing to his melted wristwatch- what a stupid thing to say! He should just shut up. Still, she answered with the hint of a smile:  
“If time hasn’t melted by then.”


	7. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving at the Sturgiss' household

November

Single for the first time since high school, Amy was at first unsure what to do with herself- for, like, five minutes. When Adam finally moved out, the house got quiet and peaceful. On the nights he had Emma, Amy could just have popcorn for dinner and then fall asleep on the couch. No longer did she have to remind him to do stuff a hundred times and then get mad at him when he didn't. Sure, he was still constantly dumping things on her- the parent-teacher conference he'd said he'd go to? Sorry, professional emergency. At least he got the job. It was an internship, but at least he'd gotten his ass out of her couch. 

It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she could, like, walk faster. Even though Glenn tried to set her up with about three guys at his church, she was seriously considering staying single for the rest of her life. Why did people do relationships, again? Amy was blanking out on it. 

The only bad part of the divorce was that Adam had Emma for Thanksgiving, and her parents were in Florida. 

“Why don't you spend Thanksgiving with us?”, suggested Glenn when she told him she hadn't made any plans. “It would be great! You could have some of Jerusha’s world famous yams, and we'll all have to be here for Black Friday a few hours later, so we could come together!”  
“Well, Glenn, I…”  
But he was already calling Jerusha: “No, honey, Amy from the broken home I was telling you about! She is definitely coming, make room for one more! Oh, really? We might have to eat outside…”  
He went to the balcony to talk to her while giving Amy a thumbs up. There wasn't much she could do about that, and it was with resignation that she went to the Sturgiss household on a Thanksgiving Thursday. 

When she rang the bell, it was Jonah who answered the door. Both of them were a bit taken aback by this:  
“Oh, hey, Amy! You're here! I didn't know you were coming.”  
“Yeah, me neither.”  
How long was it until the awkwardly staring at each other moment was over? She couldn't tell.   
“Happy thanksgiving, come in!”, said Jonah.   
“So, they got you answering the door already?”   
“Well, hum, Jerusha is cooking and Glenn is, I believe… mixing some pills for Black Friday? Honestly, I was too scared to ask.”  
“Where's Kristen?”  
He was about to answer her question when the bell rang once again. It was Tate the pharmacist.   
“Hey! You're not Glenn! He got you on door duty? Hoping to score some points with the dad to score some point with girlfriend if you know what I mean hehehe? You dog I love it!”  
“I…I…This is not an appropriate way to talk about…”, Jonah started, just as the door was opened one more time. It was Kristen, with about seven kids. “Okay, guys, don't break anything and… great, they've dispersed already! Hum, hi babe. Amy, didn't know you were coming!”  
“Yeah, my marriage fell apart so your dad invited me cause I have to share my daughter now. It's awesome.”  
Shit. Why was she being so awkward? Kristen even turned to Tate to make it less awkward- Tate.   
“So, weird pharmacist dude who calls me Kirsten- how are you?”  
“Your name isn't Kirsten? Also what are you doing here?”  
“Kristen. Sturgis. I'm Glenn’s daughter?”  
“Oh, yeah. She's the one that you're dating? Hi-five!”  
“No, I'm good.”  
“Tate the pharmacist.”  
“Yeah, I know.”  
“But did you know that I had it legally changed to Tate coma the pharmacist?”  
“Why would you do that?”  
“I was wasted on controlled meds. Awesome time!”  
They did not have time to respond to these remarks because at that moment Glenn was walking down the stairs.   
“Oh, hey guys! Happy Thanksgiving! Tate, thanks for coming, can you come help me out a little for just a sec?   
“Sure thing, boss.”

They went upstairs again. Kristen looked worried:  
“Is that guy…hooking my dad up?”  
“I… believe so.” , said Jonah.   
“It's just because he's stressed out about Black Friday, it's not a big deal.”, said Amy.   
“I can't believe it!”  
She followed them up. Amy and Jonah were left alone.   
“So, I'm glad you're here, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.”  
“Oh. Okay.”  
“I was looking through the schedules for next month, and they making us work Christmas Eve. And Christmas. But, most importantly, Christmas Eve. So I went through Cloud Nine employees reaction tags on Twitter, #cloudninecansuckit and variations of it and all over the country people are really pissed.”  
“Okay, let's get back to you cyberstalking cloud nine employees. I really feel like there are more interesting people to cyberstalk.”  
“No, what I mean is, I think we have enough momentum here to unify a hashtag and organize a protest.”  
“What? No, we can't form a union. Remember what happened last time you said the word union? We had a five hour lecture from corporate and Glenn got fired!”  
“Yeah, but also, our organized protest got Glenn hired back. Yeah, now that I'm saying this, it does seem like all we did was fix our mistakes. Still, we introduced a conversation! Maybe if we talk to a wider range of stores from other regions before approaching them this time…”  
“Then we could get a lot more people fired! Great goal!”  
“Okay, you're not even considering this idea. We need this and this our window. Cammon, Amy, I thought that's what we've been waiting for since the strike, for a way to break in…”  
“You thought- let me explain something to you, Jonah. You are not an activist. Your job could be done just as efficiently or probably more efficiently than the people they would hire to replace us if this blew up in our heads. Stop trying to be Lenin or whatever fantasy you have about leading the workers into battle and sticking it to the man. You can't just change the system. You can't just think something up and that just because you believe in it that'll work out. Most things don't work out. Doesn't matter how you feel about them, they're just stupid unrealistic fantasies that weren't meant to be!”  
Suddenly they heard a scream coming from upstairs: “Just one more pill, sweetie!”, Glenn was saying as he ran down the steps on his underwear, chasing Kristen after the pill bottle she was holding. That put an abrupt end to the discussion.


	8. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy comes across some scheduling problems which may confirm the "momentum" Jonah was talking about.

Christmas-time it was, and they were making all Cloud Nine employees work longer hours. Amy hated to admit it to herself, but Jonah had really been onto something with the whole "momentum" thing. It's just, he'd annoyed her so much with his stupid fantasies and far-fetched notions; she'd sort of dismissed the thing altogether. And, because he respected her opinion, he neither revisited the subject or did anything about it- which arguably meant that she was gonna have to do something now. 

Here's what grabbed her attention to the Christmas schedules- their hours were not only longer, but their shifts had been moved from perfectly round times for clocking in and out, to mysterious broken numbers. Most days, she entered not at seven, but at seven eighteen. That shift would end not at three twenty but at three forty seven... And slowly, upon checking on everybody else's schedules, Amy noticed that corporate had been stealing minutes of their time, here and there, by imposing these new hours. All in all, she was scheduled to work three unpaid hours. 

She was insulted, mostly because how dare comporate think they wouldn't be able to do the Math. There was more than that, however- see, Cloud Nine traditionally kept employees just below the minimum "full-time employee" hours in order not to give them "perks" such as health insurance, maternity leave, vacation, etc. The time-table given to them that month was so painstakingly ellaborate that at times it surpassed the limit by one minute or two: if corporate thought they couldn't subtract, maybe they should check their own Math skills. 

Amy stopped for a moment: this was too good to be true. She wanted to call Jonah and tell him they should organize a lawsuit against Cloud Nine- although, that would mean she'd have to apologize for Thanksgiving. Though they had yet to address that disagreement, they were on good terms- strangely good terms, too good, because of that thing that happened on Black Friday. A brief-seemed brief- almost-something they'd shared had made them start acting overtly polite to each other again. 

This year's Black Friday had been overall less brutal than last year's, but it was also less exciting or full of revelations. Amy felt isolated. She felt isolated during Thanksgiving dinner and she felt isolated at work. After having that borderline argument with Jonah they did not exchange more words not in the conversational niche of "pass the peas, please" and "thanks you for the peas". Glenn's wife, Jerusha, despite having sat right beside her could not stop shouting about her nephew who was a "professional conversationalist"- apparently he'd written a book on communication skills. At first Amy could not tell if Jerusha wanted her to READ so-and-so's book in order to better communicate with Adam and escape from the pit of desperation that a divorced woman's life sure must be, or rather if she wanted to set her up with so-and-so who wrote the book. The book was on Amazon for anyone to buy. 

"You know, a lot of people think that just because we're Christian, we don't believe in divorce.", said Jerusha, "But marriage is a wonderful thing, and if it's not wonderful for you, you better get going. Of course, it would be better if people who aren't meant to be together just didn't get married. How old were you, dear, when you got married?"  
"Uhm, nineteen."  
"But that was only because you were pregnant, right?"  
"Well, I..."  
"Being a single mom is a horrid thing! I understand why you felt like you had to marry him. Of course, abortion is unthinkable. You are a principled girl, aren't you?"  
Jonah made a face and you could tell he was starting to prepare a whole "this is what a feminist looks like speech", but she glanced at him briefly, making sure he would not interfere.   
"Teen pregnancy must be awful. Of course, I was never pregnant. I can't have babies. But I have all of those."  
A child started crying.   
"Oh, Ethan, we didn't tell you you're adopted? You're adopted.", she said, and because the room was very chaotic with screaming children and many a conversation being held, she decided that was that and turned her attention back to Amy: "We are very blessed here. We need to thank all the irresponsible teens who didn't wear a condom. You know, it could be your kid here if things had gone differently!", she said. Amy didn't have an answer to this terrifying perspective, so she smiled. Jerusha was on her fourth glass of cherry and that is what she smelled like.   
"Now I really want grandchildren. I've been saying that to Kristen, but I don't know if it will ever happen."  
"Well, mom, I think you have enough kids as it is.", said Kristen.   
"Nonsense! There are never enough kids! What do you say, Jonah? Can you convince her to give me a grandkid?"  
Thankfully, Jonah's sermon mode was always ready and seemed to almost not capture the fragility of the situation:  
"I can't tell a woman what to do with her own body, so..."  
Jerusha was drunk enough not to understand what this was about.   
"Oh, well. What about you, Amy, do you want other kids? Oh, right, you're getting a divorce. Did I tell you about my nephew?"  
"Yes, you did."  
"I'm gonna give you his number!"  
"Well, I appreciate it but I'm really not looking to..."  
"Nonsense! It's no problem for me, I have it right here..."  
*

When Black Friday was over, Amy sat on one of the garden chairs, trying to feel like a human being again. She leaned back, put her feet up, and seriously considered staying there until she'd slept for at least twelve hours. But then Jonah showed up. 

"Hey. I think I just saw a customer steal a washing machine. He just left. Right out the door. And I didn't care."  
"Happy black friday."  
For a minure he stood there with his hands on his pockets, considering whether to say something or not. Then he sat down on the other chair.   
"I'm sorry about, you know, Jerusha... That was just... Wow"  
"Thanks for reminding me of that."  
"Sorry. I mean, she's a good person, but..."  
"Whatever, Jonah. I don't wanna talk about Jerusha. If you're gonna stay here, shut up."  
"You know, you're acting like a jerk today."  
"Thank you for sharing. Your review will be read by our staff at another time."

She could tell he wanted to storm out, but he didn't. He knew she was just taking it out on him, which annoyed her even more, which made her feel bad, which made her apologize:  
"I'm sorry. It's just... Black Friday and Thanksgiving without Emma, and I couldn't talk to her earlier and everyone's just...happy and spending the holidays with their families and my parents did not have the tact not to book a holiday on thanksgiving."

Amy did her monologue staring at the empty boxes in front of her, but slowly she grew the courage to turn and look at him in the eye. 

"You know", she said, "Sometimes I want to do what you did. Just drive, and drive, until I find somewhere new where maybe things would suck less. I wish I were enough of a stuck-up idealist, like you, so I would believe in signs like a for hire sign in a parking lot. But then I think I'd probably just start working at Cloud Nine, Denver.", she joked. 

"You shouldn't make fun of me, you know. I'm really glad I moved here."

"Yeah. Your shelf-organizing skills would have been wasted in business."

"I think organizing shelves may be my true calling."

"I wouldn't oversell it."

"I'm pretty good though, right?"

"You're okay. God, we're gonna die here, aren't we?"

"Probably, yeah."

They were smiling at each other. Somehow, Amy could see them both at ninety nine still sitting on those damn garden chairs complaining about work- that image was strangely comforting. It also scared the hell out of her. She looked away from him, but she was afraid they had spent way longer making eyes at each other than it was acceptable. Was he onto her? Onto her what, Amy? There's nothing here. Nothing to see. They say looking at people's eyes is an invasion of privacy in some countries. Maybe she should move there. Get her car and drive until she got there. A rush of life came through her heart and she was suddenly awake. She just had to go. Now, before you're hopeless and you show everything, everything to him.


End file.
